


What If I Stay?

by One_Small_Writer



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Mild Sexual Content, Secret Relationship, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 22:22:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29798751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/One_Small_Writer/pseuds/One_Small_Writer
Summary: Natasha and Steve made an agreement when they secretly started dating to not spend the night together. They could sneak into each other's rooms and do whatever they wanted, but they never stayed the night. There was too many risks of getting caught.One night, that all changes.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov
Comments: 1
Kudos: 61





	What If I Stay?

**Author's Note:**

> The song is What If I Stay by Chris Young.  
> I was on the way to the park with my cousins and was listening to this song while reading some Stevenat secret relationship fluff and thought it'd be fun, so here this is.

_Did you see the movie is over?_ _  
_ _  
I guess we missed the last half,_ _  
_ _  
Layin' here in this bed together,_ _  
_ _  
Me kissin' you, you kissin' me back._

“Nat,” Steve whispered, grabbing her shoulders to pull himself out of the make-out they’d been in for the better part of the hour. Natasha was in his lap in just her sports bra and her pyjama shorts, Steve bare-chested as his shirt had been thrown across the room some time ago.

Her hands fell out of his hair and she sighed. “What?” Natasha asked impatiently, reaching out for him again instantly. 

Steve caught her wrists before she could make another move and let out a breathy laugh, tilting his head towards the tv. “The movie is over,” He said.

They’d hardly made it through half when they got distracted. Natasha had started it simply by dancing her fingers up and down Steve’s chest, pressing the occasional kiss to his jaw as he watched the screen intently. She’d been getting bored of the movie, having seen it a few times before, and so took it as a way of entertaining herself, seeing how far in her ministrations she could get before he reacted.

As usual, she swiftly got rewarded for her troubles. They barely got introduced to the love interest by the time Steve was cupping her face and pulling her in for a searing kiss.

Natasha gave a quick glance towards the credits rolling across the screen before turning back to Steve, her hands filtering through his hair once more. “I don’t care,” She all but growled, pulling his head so it was just inches from hers. “We’ll watch it some other time.” She pulled his head closer again, this time connecting their lips.

“I was looking forward to that movie,” Steve teased, only sort of regretting it when Natasha nipped at his lip and pulled his hair. He moaned into the kiss, squeezing at her hips desperately. 

“Shut up,” She hissed between kisses. “I said we’d watch it another time. Right now there are much more pressing matters at hand.”

And Steve couldn’t disagree with that logic. Flipping them over so she was on her back and he was hovering over, the movie was truly the furthest thing from his mind.

_It's getting late can't you see?_ _  
_ _  
I should get up and leave,  
_ _  
_ _If I don't you, know where it's goin'._

Once they, finally, stopped kissing they ended up just laying there, holding each other on Natasha’s tangled sheets as they stared at the DVD play screen neither could be bothered to turn off. They’d thought of restarting it but eventually thought better of it, knowing that if they did they’d just end up right back where they started. They just talked instead, about everything and nothing all at once.

After a while, however, they drifted into a peaceful silence, speaking occasionally but staying mostly stewing in the contentment of the quiet. Natasha stared at the ceiling, ignoring the way Steve’s eyes kept trailing across her face. This was always the worst part of the night. When they’d lie in silence and pretend like Steve wasn’t about to get up and retreat to his own room for the night.

There were some upsides to being in a secret relationship. Their love for each other couldn’t be used against them, they didn’t have to deal with their friends teasing them, the ‘I haven’t been able to kiss you all day’ reunions were pretty damn great, but there was certainly some downsides.

Most notably the fact that they could never spend the night together. Because if someone saw Steve leaving Natasha’s room in the morning or visa versa, suspicion would arise. They’d agreed when they started dating to not spend the night together, no matter how much they may want to. They just couldn’t risk it, not when they were keeping it a secret for a reason.

They may have both agreed to it, but it didn’t mean that it didn’t suck.

Steve trailed his hand down to grab hers, squeezing her fingers as he rolled his head to see her clock. He sighed at the time and shifted slightly so he was on his side, looking down at her with an adoring sadness. Natasha craned her neck to look at him, already knowing what he was about to say. She gave him a small, one-sided smile.

“Baby, the time,” He said softly, sadly, his eyes never once leaving hers.

Natasha took a sharp breath and nodded. “I know.”

“I should probably get up,” Steve whispered, pressing a kiss to her bare shoulder.

Natasha nodded. “I know.”

_But you're givin' me that look, baby,_ _  
_ _  
That says you're up to no good, maybe._ _  
_ _  
And you're whispering into my neck,_ _  
_ _  
Leavin' thoughts inside my head._ _  
_ _  
Well now since you put it that way..._ _  
_ _  
If I need to I'll go darlin'._ _  
_ _  
But what if I stay?_ _  
_ _  
What if I stay?_

Neither was making any effort to move, laying there as long as they could. Steve’s hold on Natasha’s waist became tighter, Natasha’s grip on his hand stronger. It was like this every night, neither ever wanted to leave.

And yet every night they did. Natasha was sick of it.

She turned to look at Steve, his eyes unfocused on the spot beside her. She smiled and took in a silent breath, her mind racing with thoughts until it narrowed down to just one. Steve was staying with her tonight.

Suddenly she didn’t care if the others found out. They’d remain careful outside of the tour, but would it be so bad if everyone else found out about them? They’d surely be supportive of it, they’d been not so subtly making hints at them for years, and if they did say anything Natasha could just threaten them until they shut their mouths. That way, if everyone else knew, they could act like a couple. Hold hands and kiss and hug and do everything they yearned for without having to hide behind closed doors. Natasha a few months ago would’ve been disgusted at the idea of non-undercover related PDA. Natasha now, Natasha who had Steve, wasn’t apposed at all, in a crazy twist of events she desired it.

She just wanted to act like a couple with him. She just loved him so much, and she wanted to show it. And she knew that’s what he wanted too, even more so than she did.

Sitting up out of Steve’s embrace, she stared at him intently, a smirk playing on her lips. Steve sat up too, confused at her sudden movement. “Wha-” He started, but was silenced when she swung her legs over to him to straddle his lap, bringing her lips to his neck. 

Steve swallowed thickly, willing himself not to get lost in the sensation of her lips against his skin. “Nat, what are you doing?” He asked, eyes drifting shut as her kisses became harder, more frantic.

“Stay with me tonight,” She whispered. 

“What?”

“I want you to stay,” She insisted

Steve was silent for a few moments, once again losing himself in her sensations, before speaking up again. “Are you sure? What about-”

“I don’t care anymore,” She paused in her movements and cupped his face. “I just want you. Will you stay? I’ll make it worth your while.”

Steve smiled and kissed her. “Well, if you put it that way.”

Natasha smirked and brought their lips together once more.

_Here comes the sun through the window,_ _  
_ _  
Feels like we just got to sleep._ _  
_ _  
But the way you look on that pillow,_ _  
_ _  
Don'tcha know it's killin' me, yeah?_

The sun shining through Natasha’s bedroom window was what eventually woke Steve, hours after they made the decision for him to stay. He’d been shocked at the time, confused by her sudden change of heart made with seemingly not much thought, but he was so relieved. He was never mad at her decision of secrecy, it made perfect sense, but he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t been hoping for her to one day change her mind.

He just wanted to show everyone that she was his girl, wanted to show everyone that they were in love. Even if neither of them was necessarily fans of PDA, he wanted to kiss her on escalators when they weren’t on the run. He wanted to hug her in front of Tony and Clint and especially in front of Bruce, just so they’d shut up their teasing about his supposed virginity (Not that Bruce made comments about his ‘virginity’, at least not unless he was pressured into it, he just wanted to hug her in front of Bruce just because). He wanted to hold her hand as they walked around the tower and down the street. He wanted to sleep beside her and hold her as she fell asleep every night instead of having to leave. He wanted everything with her.

Was he staying the night for the first time the start of all that? He didn’t want to look too much into it, just in case, but he couldn’t help but get his hopes up.

He went to sit up but stopped himself upon remembering his surroundings, mostly his sleeping girlfriend using half his arm as a pillow. They’d fallen asleep the same way they were waking up, having barely moved a muscle during the night. Steve held Natasha around the waist, keeping her pressed snugly against his chest, and had an arm tucked under her head for her to use as a pillow, only the slightest bit of her hair on her actual one.

Steve’s arm was going a little numb, as were his legs from where they were tangled together under the sheets, but it was perfect. He loved moments like these, loved holding her. It was so sappy, and if he ever voiced to thoughts to her he knew she’d tell him as such, but he didn’t care.

God, he loved her so much.

Unable to help himself, he tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear and kissed her temple lightly, overwhelmed by his feelings for her.

Natasha stirred and groaned a mere few minutes later, opening her eyes before shutting them again almost instantly. “It’s too bright,” She complained, putting her hand over her eyes so she could look up at him. “How come it’s so bright? Did we not shut the curtains?”

Steve laughed. “Nope, we were distracted.”

“Sounds about right,” Natasha mumbled, twisting so she could hug him and humming.

“Good morning Nat,” Steve said softly, kissing her forehead against his shoulder.

“Good morning Steve,” Natasha smiled, tilting her head up for a real kiss. Steve was happy to oblige.

“Hmm,” She said once they pulled away. “I love waking up next to you.”

“I love it too.”

_It's gettin' early can't you see?_ _  
_ _  
I should get up and leave,_ _  
_ _  
If I don't, you know where it's goin'._

They lay there for another half hour, happy in each other’s arms as they soaked up the morning sun. It was early enough that they didn’t have to rush to get up, no one ever woke up early unless there was a set schedule or an emergency in the tower, and the only thing they had planned that day was training later in the afternoon and the possibility of a team game night after dinner as suggested by Tony, leaving time for them to be together for a little longer without interruption.

There was a lot they needed to talk about, both knew that, but for the time being they were just content with the silence. Silence was simple, it was easier than addressing the elephant in the room. It was too early for heavy conversations about what this, staying together, meant for their relationship.

Eventually, though, Steve turned to look at the clock and sighed, just like he had the night before. Natasha, once again, knew what he was going to say before he could get the words out. She was sadder than she had been the night before at the thought of him leaving, knowing that this time she had no choice but to let him get up.

They needed to get dressed and shower, needed to eat and then find something to do before training and lunch, maybe go for a run or train privately; just the two of them. But before they did all that, Steve needed to leave without getting caught. It was easy to do that at night, but it wouldn’t be so during the day. Steve didn’t exactly have Natasha’s sleuth skills under his belt, and if anyone else was in the elevator, something which was likely as it was very close to breakfast time, he’d get caught out straight away. 

“I should probably get up. I’ve gotta shower and get dressed and all and it’s probably smarter for me to do that at my place, because then I can change clothes and not give any hints to where I was and-” He was rambling, he knew he was rambling, but he couldn’t stop himself. He did that in situations like this.

Natasha silenced him by rolling on top of him in a pathetic attempt to get him to stay, even if she knew it wasn’t smart to do so. “I know Steve, it’s okay,” She comforted, smoothing his hair down. “I wish you didn’t, but you have to and that’s okay.”

_But you're givin' me that look, baby,_ _  
_ _  
That says you're up to no good maybe._ _  
_ _  
And you're whispering into my neck,_ _  
_ _  
Leavin' thoughts inside my head._ _  
_ _  
Well now since you put it that way..._ _  
_ _  
If I need to I'll go darlin',_ _  
_ _  
But what if I stay wrapped up in your arms?_  
_  
'_ Cause lovin' you baby's been pretty perfect so far.

Steve nodded, taking a breath. “I wish I didn’t have to either,” He admitted, tirling a loose strand of her hair around his finger lightly.

Natasha looked up at him through her lashes, chin resting on the hands she had crossed over his chest. “Then why don’t you stay a little longer?” 

“Nat…” Steve sighed.

“I know, I know.” Natasha’s shoulders slumped and she tried not to look too disappointed, but typically Steve saw right through it.

“It’s not that I don’t want to Natasha, it’s just that-” Steve started before Natasha cut him off.

“I know Steve,” She insisted. “I just wanted to lay here a little longer, that’s all.”

Steve softened at that, tracing the few goosebumps that had formed on her bare back. “Okay,” He said simply, kissing the crown of her head.

Natasha looked up at him and blinked, eyebrow raised. “What?”

“Okay,” Steve repeated. “I’ll stay for a little longer, but only for a little bit because I really do have to go.”

Natasha smiled, her eyes twinkling. “I love you.” She lay her head over his heart, inhaling his scent as she listened to the steady thud. She held him tighter, wrapped her arms around his back so she was holding him properly.

Steve hugged her right back, holding her so his hands were resting on the small of her back. He didn’t want to get up as much as she didn’t want him to leave, so the compromise was easy to make. It wasn’t even a compromise, he wanted it as much if not more than she did. “I love you too.”

Later, they might regret their decision for him to stay. Later, Steve will actually have to get up and leave. But right now, none of that mattered.

_And you're givin' me that look,_

_The one that says you're up to no good, yeah._

_And now you're whispering into my neck,_

_Leavin' thoughts inside my head._

_Well now since you put it that way..._

They ended up in the shower together. Not quite what they’d planned for the morning, but neither was complaining.

Steve had actually gotten up, Natasha following shortly behind after staring and laughing at the sight of him fumbling around her room in search of wherever she’d thrown his clothes. She’d stood just as he went to slide on his pants, hugging him from behind and trailing her hands up and down his chest.

He froze in his tracks, placing his hands over hers to stop their movement. “Don’t start something you can’t finish,” He said thickly, swallowing.

Natasha smirked behind his back. “You says I can’t finish?” She said saucily into his neck, pressing a kiss where it met his shoulder.

Steve moaned. “Natasha,” He warned. He didn't want to get carried away, because he knew that if she kept going the way she was, he'd never be able to leave.

“Come on Steve, you said you needed a shower?” She teased, moving her kisses from his shoulder to further up his neck.

And that’s all it took for Steve to turn around and have her in his arms, hands on her hips as he devoured her lips again, backing her slowly into her adjoined bathroom. He took her up on the shower offer, that much was for sure. It was always fun in the shower.

And after, they managed to find Steve some clothes of his that Natasha had stashed away in ehr closest, and when they eventually did leave Natasha went first and texted him the all-clear from the empty elevator. They walked into breakfast together without a suspicion raised, just two friends who ran into each other on the elevator ride up.

Tonight, after games, they’d talk. They’d talk about what this meant for them and how much they enjoyed the night before, about coming clean about their relationship and being out in the open, but most importantly they’d talk about the fact that, after that night, they both knew they’d never be able to sleep without the other again.

_I should probably go darlin'._

_But what if I stay?_

_What if I stay?_

_Oh, what if I stay?_

**Author's Note:**

> This was fun. I don't love the ending, but that's okay.


End file.
